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【段子】神话风格的加帕里

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咱是个喜欢史诗和神话叙事风格的家伙,众所周知最近关于兽娘动物园发生了很多事情,所以试着按照各种神话的风格写了一点关于最近的事端的东西。另外,开始之前先说一句,资本家是坏文明!


来自Android客户端1楼2017-10-03 21:07回复
    很多事情?怎麼了


    IP属地:中国台湾来自iPhone客户端2楼2017-10-03 21:10
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      观览车顶端的朱鹮不断的长鸣警告,啼叫的声嘶力竭,立于“摩天轮”顶的美洲红鹮也全力呼应。环绕加帕里的巨蛇“亚马莫托”从沉睡中醒来,掀起巨浪淹没了公园的山谷和山川,海水直冲上众friends的国度,而巨狼“卡瓦卡密”终于挣脱了诸friends锻造的枷锁,放出他的孩子吞噬日月。在这之后,死人指甲组成的大船从海中升起,船上载着的那死人之国的邪鸟将率领着巨型天蓝怪攻向friends的领地。
      公园的守门人河马小姐看到了这样的情形,立刻取出了密藏于萨班纳水池之下的战争号角,吹出紧急信号以召集诸friends。
      号角的声音响彻云霄,比雷鸣还清楚,向诸friends报告不幸的消息。加帕里的friends们迅速的将野性解放,冲出公园的大门在波特(Port)之地的原野上布好阵势。
      在战斗的前夕,驼鹿只身前往地下迷宫一探,只见到野槌蛇脸罩薄纱,默然地坐在残破的纪念碑旁,身边仅有一张破网。驼鹿随即转身赶必中的回战场。
      现在两方都到齐了,无数年的仇恨将在这里一次解决。驼鹿对着巨狼亚马莫托投出了她必中的巨角,而她随后也注定会被这巨狼吞噬,不过,勇毅的白犀看到了大将的惨状,她便冲上前,用穿着铠甲的脚踩住巨狼的下颚,再用手用力扯开上颚,终把亚马莫托撕裂。鲸头鹳捡起驼鹿的巨角,然后从巨狼的喉咙刺进心脏,杀死了亚马莫托。
      狮子用她猛狮的利爪和巨蛇卡密卡瓦厮杀在一起, 大蛇庞大的身躯,不断地翻滚,巧妙地躲避狮子的追击,同时,不断向狮子喷吐毒汁。狮子愤怒极了,对准大蛇的头,把利爪用尽全力的斩去,刹时间,雷声轰隆,电光夺目,这是致命的一击,卡密卡瓦昂起身体,向狮子喷出鲜血,倒地死去,狮子也已身中卡密卡瓦的毒汁,她摇摇幌幌发出雷鸣般痛苦的呻吟,终于,这位曾带给加帕里公园无数胜利的第一勇士也在她的挚友驼鹿身旁气绝而死。
      由于之前在与巨大天蓝怪的战斗中失去了她的熊爪,棕熊只能用残损的握杆和火焰天蓝怪“宰笆苏”(zaibatsu)奋勇战斗,最后力战身死。
      地狱恶犬“巴吉特”(budget)一面流淌着鲜血一面向金丝猴冲去,金丝猴用她的金箍棒应战,同归于尽。
      邪鸟卡多卡瓦的对手是守卫萨班纳的薮猫,卡多卡瓦的相貌极其可怕,脸色像“死”一样苍白,杂乱的羽毛蓬然怒立,看来好像奇怪的角。薮猫很快以爪斩下了这丑陋的头并用小包赠予的火焰灼烧断口使卡多卡瓦无法重生,但是被斩下的头颅却从地上弹跃而起,打中薮猫的胸部,竟夺去了薮猫的生命,最后的战斗竟然以双方的战死结束。
      战场上堆满众friends和天蓝怪的尸体,平原已经变成一片血海。 在红莲般的熊熊烈焰之中,加帕里公园已成一片火海,烈火柱贯穿天际,浓烟卷没山顶,支撑过滤网的四神之山也被火焰吞没而崩倒,整个公园轰然毁灭。
      星辰从苍穹中落下,时间已不复存在,焦黑的地面摇晃著沉入波涛汹涌的海底,触目所及的只有滔天巨浪,宇宙间只剩下一片死寂的大沉默和永劫的黑暗。
      ——《老加帕里经·friends的黄昏》


      来自Android客户端3楼2017-10-03 21:11
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        这一段是捏的老爱达经诸神的黄昏,所有的名字都有梗,可以试着看看


        来自Android客户端4楼2017-10-03 21:14
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          是喜欢史诗的friends呢,我只是个喊天灭角川的friends。


          IP属地:山西来自Android客户端5楼2017-10-03 21:44
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            并不有趣。诸神的黄昏除了毁灭,还有复活的章节。“劫火虽毁灭了宇宙,却也烧毁了一切邪恶,新的秩序又重新建立,新的世界将会更加美好。”


            IP属地:山东来自手机贴吧6楼2017-10-03 21:44
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              这一段纯粹只是换了人命……但是是史记里最喜欢的一篇,写着写着想笑,但是又意识到根本笑不出来


              来自Android客户端7楼2017-10-04 01:52
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                驼鹿自度不得脱,谓其众曰:“吾入园至今十二话矣,身七十余战,所当者破,所击者服,未尝败北,遂霸有天下。然今卒困于此,此天之亡我,非战之罪也。今日固决死,愿为诸卿快战,必三胜之,为诸卿溃围,斩将,刈旗,令诸卿知天亡我,非战之罪也。”乃分其众以为四队,四向。角川围之数重。驼鹿谓其众曰:“吾为卿取彼一将。”令四面驰下,期山东为三处。于是驼鹿大呼驰下,天蓝皆披靡,遂斩角川一宽。是时,厉彦为骑将,追驼鹿,驼鹿嗔目而叱之,厉彦人马俱惊,辟易数里。与其众会为三处。天蓝怪不知项王所在,乃分军为三,复围之。驼鹿乃驰,复斩角川一都尉,杀数十百头,复聚其众,亡其两人耳。乃谓其众曰:"何如?"众皆伏曰:"如大将言!"


                来自Android客户端8楼2017-10-04 01:53
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                  于是驼鹿乃欲东渡草原。长尾虎猫舣船待,谓驼鹿曰:“草原虽小,地方千里,众数十万人,亦足王也。愿大将急渡。今独臣有船,角川至,无以渡。”驼鹿笑曰:“天之亡我,我何渡为!且鹿与草原浮莲子八千人渡江而西,今无一人还,纵草原浮莲子怜而王我,我何面目见之?纵彼不言,鹿独不愧于心乎?”乃谓虎猫曰:“吾知公长者。此狮伴吾五岁矣,所当无敌,尝一日连克百头天蓝,不忍弃之,以赐卿。”乃令众皆步行,持巨角接战。独驼鹿所杀天蓝数百头。驼鹿身亦被十余创,顾见角川司马栗田穣崇 ,曰:“若非吾故人乎?”栗田面之,指川上曰:“此驼鹿也。”驼鹿乃曰:“吾闻角川购我头千金,邑万户,吾为若德。”乃自刎而死。川上取其头,余怪相蹂践争驼鹿,相杀者数十头。


                  来自Android客户端9楼2017-10-04 02:03
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                    就是这样驼鹿没有遇到任何好事就是这样死掉了。


                    IP属地:广东10楼2017-10-04 12:38
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                      Lion, the King of Prairie, heard of the Kadokawa's plan and the six Celliens they sent. He realized that if he lost Moose, the greatest warrior among the Prairie and her closest friend, Japari Park would fall, and the reign of friends could come to an end. So she decided to protect Moose for as long as she could.
                      ......大草原之王,狮子听说了角川派出的六只天蓝怪,和他们杀害驼鹿的计划,她自思如若失去大平原上最伟大的英雄和她最亲密挚友,加帕里将难以为继,而浮莲子们的生存将走到尽头。于是,狮子决定将驼鹿保护起来,尽她所能。
                      She invited Moose to come and stay in her Tenshu. She distracted Moose with sports and feasts, and told her nothing of the threat that was coming, knowing that Moose would want to go out and face it head-on.
                      狮子将驼鹿邀请到她的城寨中,以角力和盛宴使驼鹿分心,告诉驼鹿当前的加帕里已经没有什么值得一提的威胁存在,因为若是得到了这样的消息,那驼鹿必亲自出战。
                      But the six Celliens of Kadokawa came to Prairie, and using their magic, they brewed up the sounds of war.
                      但角川派出的六只天蓝怪已经来到了大平原,他们使出魔术,酿出金戈之声。
                      The noise was terrible, weapon clashing, battle cries, feet stamping, and the screams of the lost, but Lion was prepared.
                      魔声可怕至极,充斥着武器冲撞,战吼,踏足之声和落败者的尖叫。但是狮子早已做好了准备。
                      She invited all of her followers for a great feast, and there was such singing and storytelling, drinking and revelry, that they drowned out the noises of the magical war outside.
                      狮子将能找到的所有的浮莲子们都邀来参加一场盛会,她们在那里歌唱,谈笑,欢饮和狂欢,将战争的魔音淹没。
                      For three days and three nights, this worked to keep Moose in the dark, but the noises showed no signs of abating, and Lion knew she couldn’t keep it up.
                      连续三天三夜,宴会成功的将驼鹿保护在了暗处,但是魔音却没有减弱的迹象而狮子亦心知肚明她已无法继续保持。
                      She had her Vieilles take Moose to Gleann na mBodhar; the Valley of the Deaf. It was called this because no sound from outside could enter the valley, so no matter what magical noises the Celliens of Kadokawa brewed up, Moose would not hear them there.
                      她令她的近卫们护送驼鹿前往寂静之谷,这山谷因为外界的声音无法传入而得名。因此,无论角川的天蓝怪制造出多么喧闹的声音,驼鹿也绝不会听到。
                      When their magical noises failed to draw Moose out, the Celliens of Kadokawa realized that they had to do something else.
                      当他们发现魔声无法吸引驼鹿出现,角川的天蓝怪们决定另寻他策。
                      One of the Celliens magically disguised itself as Kaban, a friend of Moose’s, and went into Gleann na mBodhar.
                      天蓝怪之一将自己伪装成驼鹿的密友小包,进入到寂静之谷中。
                      It told her she was needed in battle, to pick up her horn. Moose leapt at the challenge.
                      天蓝怪告诉驼鹿有需要她参加的战斗,驼鹿拿起她的巨角,愉快的接受了挑战。
                      She called to her retinue, Giant armadillo, who stood beside her in the fight and gathered other friends she could find.
                      驼鹿唤来了在战斗中陪伴左右之人,她的近侍大犰狳,随后召集了在她身边的众浮莲子们。
                      Alpaca suri of the Mountains came up to her with a farewell cup, full of black tea to give her blessing in the coming fight, but as she lifted the cup to her lips, the tea turned into blood. She threw it away, and Alpaca suri refilled the cup with tea, but again it turned to blood. Determined that Moose would not go into battle without her blessing to protect her, Alpaca suri filled the cup again, and offered it again, but the tea turned into blood a third time, and Moose could not drink from it.
                      来自群山的苏利羊驼为驼鹿准备了告别的饮品,满杯的红茶为驼鹿带去她的祝福,但当驼鹿举杯之时,杯中的茶却变成血色,驼鹿只得将茶倒掉。羊驼重复斟满茶杯三次,每一次茶都在驼鹿嘴边变成了血。驼鹿无法从苏利羊驼的杯中饮茶。
                      She came to a group of three friends by the side of the road. They were roasting Japari Breads on a rowan stick. She stopped to give them her greeting, and they invited her to join their meal.
                      驼鹿在路上遇到三个浮莲子,她们正用一条条棒炙烤加帕里馒头。驼鹿停下来向她们致意,而她们邀请驼鹿一同进餐。
                      Her honour as a warrior would not allow her to turn down their hospitality, or put herself above anyone, or say she thought she was above anyone.
                      驼鹿的荣耀不允许她将自己所视甚高,她也不允许自己声称她高于任何人。
                      so she sat down and took a piece of the bread with his left hand, and ate it. And when it touched her lips, all the strength ebbed out of her left arm, and the meat dropped onto her thigh. As soon as the bread touched it, all the strength flowed out of her left leg, so that her whole left side was now no stronger than that of a normal man.
                      于是驼鹿坐下来用左手拿起一块馒头食用。当馒头触到她的嘴唇之时,她的左臂变得无力。馒头掉落在她的大腿上,令她的左腿变得疲惫。最终,驼鹿失去力量的的左半边身体已经与常人无异。
                      She got up, knowing that she had been cursed and lost half her strength. These friends were Celliens' camouflage.
                      驼鹿站起身来,明白她已经因诅咒而失去了一半的力量,这三个浮莲子是角川的天蓝怪所假扮。
                      She fought and executed the three Celliens with her right hand, the horn of Moose is still sharp and steady.
                      她将三头天蓝怪打倒而后处决,即使只有右手,驼鹿的巨角仍然锋利而沉稳。
                      On she went, with her retinue, until she encountered the three Celliens of Kadokawa, standing in the road, barring her way. The manager of Kadokawa, called Kawakami, was with them.
                      驼鹿与她的随从们继续前进,直到她们遭遇了剩余的三头角川的天蓝怪,天蓝怪站在路中央阻隔了她们的前进。角川的社长川上量生与它们站在一起。


                      11楼2017-10-05 13:12
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                        未完,这次的原典是古爱尔兰史诗《夺牛长征记》,最后的库丘林之死


                        来自Android客户端12楼2017-10-05 13:14
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                          推上有个写兽娘神话历史的推主


                          IP属地:美国来自iPhone客户端13楼2017-10-05 15:10
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